Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Stockpiling Fun + Nesting

The last week or so I've been trying to fit a lot in.  We went to the playground, very close to our house, a couple of times. We walked the dog around the block. We've read a billion books, Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed currently leading the pack. I finished a sewing project for the girl's room. I ordered fabric to make a few things for the girl later on (ha - I think that might happen!). I made a pie. I placed an online order for a boatload of groceries to get us through the girl's first week or so of life. Chase and I got haircuts. I bought a birthday gift for my sister in law so we're prepared and not scrambling right after the girl arrives. Of course, I forgot the card but hopefully my husband can get that!

But we've also watched too much TV. My body is saying slow down as my back and hips hurt a bit more. I can't sit on the floor as long. Sometimes Curious George is the only method that allows me to listen to what my body needs. Tylenol and the heating pad are being used more regularly.
We're one week out from meeting my little girl. I can't wait to see if she resembles her brother, to discover her personality, and to introduce her to the family. And, of course, to welcome a new type of chaos and tiredness into my life!
Strawberry pie for my big two year old - it was a hit!
It's all so exciting and yet a bit overwhelming. I am so grateful for an amazing partner in my husband and a generous mom, who is coming to town for two weeks to help with Chase and the new girl. Plus, amazing inlaws who I know will help as we adjust to our new normal. Believe me, I'm counting those blessings!

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

The Idea of Raising a Girl

Happy International Women's Day! As the date for my delivery of our daughter gets closer, I'm thinking more and more about the world we're bringing her into. The various hopes and dreams I have for her. I hope she feels she can accomplish anything. I hope she feels that different career paths are open to her. I hope she knows she is strong and smart as well as beautiful. I hope she always has access to the very best educational opportunities. I hope she's challenged. Don't get me wrong - I wish the same for my boy. But we treat boys so differently, both in gender roles and in opportunities provided. I think it's more challenging to raise a girl to feel strong, able, appreciated, smart, and valued. I sure hope my husband and I have the skills to teach and promote these. I want her to realize her power, to understand that feminism is important, and that girls can do anything.
Source unknown
I want to allow her to determine who she is, without society putting too many gender specifics on her (yet I'm still buying pink clothes.... I love 'em.). I want her to be confident. I hope she feels a sense of safety. I hope I can be a role model for her in body acceptance, leadership, confidence, and strength. Oh, the many challenges I see!! I hope this day, each year, allows me to reflect on the job I'm doing and how I can do better the following year. And I hope your International Women's Day allow you to reflect on what's important to you as a woman or advocate for women you love.

Monday, March 7, 2016

The Mom Judgement

I've been struggling lately with the mom judgement. Do you know what I'm talking about? The moms who think their way is the best way of doing things and thus your way is lesser.  For example, everyone should breastfeed. Well, let's start by saying that doesn't work for everyone. Some people beat themselves up with how hard it is, to the point where it impacts their mental health. Some people hate the experience. Some people, like me with my first kid, never have their milk come in. Everyone is different and we're blessed to live in a time where we have the ability to feed a child through formula if needed. Now, I'll agree that a lot of the research says breast milk is valuable for babies development. Newer research says we've overstated that. I don't really know which to believe. But I do know we should honor each mother and her individual way for feeding her child.

Secondly, let's talk about carrying your baby. I have pretty advanced scoliosis. The last two months or so of pregnancy is constant back pain for me. And not like the back pain people with straight backs have. For example, when I was running doctors said I hit the ground at three times the pressure of someone with a straight back. (Thus the reason I don't run anymore!) Pre-delivery, I'm beholden to Tylenol and a heating pad for helping me get through each day. I don't talk about that much because I've seen the looks from moms when I've said how much Tylenol I take in a day. Post delivery, I rely heavily on my stroller so I don't have a kiddo strapped to me creating more back pain. Some mamas who wear the baby just don't get that. To which I really just want to say "enjoy your straight back."

Even the choice of delivery is something that moms seem to judge each other on. Completely natural versus vaginal with epidural versus c section. With my son, a c section was not my ideal. After many, many hours of labor pains and two hours of pushing, his little crooked head wasn't going to make it's way. I trusted my doctor's advice. This time, we're doing a scheduled c section. This is again on medical advice. Because the boy was a failure to progress, the advice was it was best to assume the girl would be the same. It's interesting to me how people react to scheduled c section. Yes, major surgery is not my ideal still. But I've talked it over with numerous doctors in my practice as well as my husband and it seems the best course of action considering last time.

I really wish moms could be more respectful of other moms choices. We all parent differently. As long as your kid is growing, developing, and generally happy (or you are working with a medical team on issues in those areas) let's raise each other up. It's a sisterhood people! We *should* be helping each other to feel acceptance and support. Because mom-ing is hard enough without the judgement. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

2 Years Old and Almost Baby Time

This past weekend, we celebrated my son's second birthday. It was a few weeks early but between being 8 months pregnant and five members of my husband's family being out of town the next two weekends, it was ideal to have it early. We did a little bit of a Thomas and Friends theme, as he is currently obsessed. And I outsourced almost everything: cake, pizza, etc. I think the only thing I did was make a salad!
The boy had a great time! I think he was a little overwhelmed with presents.  There weren't a ton but it was one after another with no really play time. Young kids don't get that! (I actually hid one of the gifts that wasn't unpackaged right then so we can bring it out when the baby comes!)
I'm so glad we did it early and were able to have all of the family there! 

We're also less than three weeks away from welcoming our girl. We're having a scheduled c section since my boy was a failure to progress during labor and ended up being a c. I'm getting anxious, probably in part because I have a doctors appointment every time I turn around! This week alone I have two neonatal stress tests (one of which caused a trip to the hospital since baby girl was too tired to give them what they wanted. She's fine.), an OB appointment, and an ultrasound. Three appointments a week for the next three weeks too. But she seems healthy and content in there for now, so that's good. I probably should have everything in the hospital bag but it's still only 75% packed..... might be a project for tonight! We also haven't transitioned the nursery because we just moved the boy into his new room and big boy bed. This weekend might inspire a little nesting in that regard as I'm itching to get everything done.