Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Oh Body Image!

Today was a tough day. Those body image issues reared their head today. I recorded a video this morning of some of my workout to check form. Watching it just dug into me because I saw the flaws, the parts of me that I view as too big, too imperfect, too not okay. Then this afternoon another thing came up with sizing a shirt, which left me in tears. I literally was laying on our family room floor (post workout mind you) crying because something wouldn't fit and I was so tired from feeling I can't have the same thing as everyone else.

I'm working on things. I'm working out daily. I'm eating better - not perfect by far but better. I cut out soda almost entirely. But it's a process and takes time. And today I just didn't hear the positive voice in my head. And not only does that hurt but I'm so conscious of my issues being evident to my kiddos. I want better for them than fretting about weight and not seeing themselves as enough. How do I ensure I don't pass on my issues to them? It's the question I turn over in my mind regularly.
This has nothing to do with this post!
I knew I needed to do something to help me remember the amazingness of my body. Because I know intellectually our bodies are pretty amazing. And I carried these two kiddos to term and delivered them both via Cesarean. Again, intellectually I know that's badass. Emotionally is another story.... so I sat down and created a list of what I like about my body. It was a good exercise; perhaps something I will add to as I get stronger.

The funny thing is, as I write this, American Housewife is on TV and the whole episode is about her body image issues. It resonates so strongly. We all have that experience, don't we? We don't like our thighs or our nose or our cankles. We think our hair is too curly or our breasts are too big. The voice in our head isn't always kind. I find it so frustrating.

I am also going to make a concerted effort to compliment others more. We all need to hear that we look good or that our outfit is beautiful. So I will spread that joy in hopes of helping someone else overcome the doubts they might be hearing in their head.

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