Monday, March 26, 2018

On Motherhood (Part 1)

My son is four years old. Lately he is more whiny, territorial (primarily with his sister), and quicker to throw a temper tantrum. Last night he kind of lost it and ended up in his room until he could be calmer. I'm guessing this is four? That's what I've heard at least. My least favorite part of it is the "I don't like my sister" part. Because ugh. Yet, he can be ultra cuddly and delightful. That's God's wicked sense of humor right? Keep them driving you nuts right up until they need to kill you with love.
I've known I've wanted kids since I was a kid myself. I love children, always enjoyed babysitting, and believed motherhood would be rewarding and fun. And it is. But it's also a struggle. Friday it made me cry. To be fair, I was hormonal. And the kids weren't getting along. And I slipped down a hill and got dirt all over my pants, my sweatshirt and through to my underwear. (I don't do things halfway!) Thank goodness of the camaraderie of mom friends. And unlimited texting because my friend got quite a few messages.

More than anything, I want to meet my kids where they are. I want to be a calming force when they get upset. I want to help them to address all of those emotions they are feeling and unable to process. Because that's my job. I'm big. I've had a lot of time to learn stress management. I've had time to grow and develop coping mechanisms. But it's a definite challenge some days. My father was a yeller. And one of the things I don't want to be is a yeller like that. I don't want my kids to have those memories. So I'm constantly adjusting my attitude to remember to be calm.

Motherhood is tough. But it's a challenge I love.


No comments: