Sunday, June 24, 2018

A Tired Soul?

Yesterday my sorority sister Amy Phillips from Love Myself Revolution shared the  quote “sleep doesn’t help when it’s your soul that is tired” and it really struck me as exactly where I am right now. I always tired. But I’m getting sleep. Ultimately, I don’t think it’s a physical tired.

I think my challenge is it’s a personal tired. Each day I make meals. I change diapers. I plan play dates. I play legos. I clean up toys. I do laundry. I clean bathrooms. I get drinks. I could go on about all the little things.

And I love my kids and being a mom. Watching them grow, learn, and develop can be very rewarding. But those little things? Not so much.
I think my soul is tired. Tired of not being challenged. Tired of not thinking. Tired of the same routine. Tired of not following a passion.

I googled the quote because there was no source when I saw it. Most of the graphics did not have a source either. One attributed it to Paulo Coehlo. In an effort to give credit, I’ll hope that’s accurate. Two articles listed the following:
 7 things that can make your soul feel sick
    1    Not being true to yourself
    2    Saying yes when you really mean no
    3    Giving of yourself when you are empty
    4    Negative self-talk
    5    Feeling as if your purpose is unfilled
    6    Engaging in petty arguments, gossip and being around toxic people, online and in real life.
    7    Surrounding yourself with clutter, both physical and mental  
For me, I can see number 3 and 5 being possibilities. I think number three is motherhood, especially when your kids are young. Other than relying on my husband as best as possible when he’s home, I don’t know an exact fix to that.

Number 5 is maybe easier to fix as it’s more concrete. I know creating and helps by people are my purposes in life. So the task becomes how specifically so I want to ensure I’m meeting those passions. Do I pursue them individually or together? Right now I see myself doing them separately. I create art. I hand letter. I sew and embroider. I coach through Beachbody. However, I’ve been kicking around an online class that I want to test. The goal of it would be to provide people the opportunity to self reflect on their passions and identify how to make them a larger part of their life.

The best thing I can do for me is find a way to live my life fully. Actually, the best thing I can do for my kids is find a way to live my life fully. Every day, it’s a challenge as I have to balance their needs (food, attention, baths, sleep - you know, some of that basic hierarchically stuff!!) with my own. But my tired soul isn’t helping to grow them as effectively I can and ideally should.

Do you ever feel similarly? How have you gotten out of it? I'd love advice. And I plan to report back on progress I make towards putting my greater purpose into action.